By Laura Stevens, Wings for Justice Advocate
- This is a broken system. They are not going to do what’s best for the children. They are doing what’s best for their practice, so the court system can make revenue.
- They are not going to advocate. The attorneys and judges are talking to each other before you even enter court.
- Every county in every state is different and has different processes and court rules, and they might not even follow or value their processes or court rules.
- You as a parent are going to be the best advocate for your children. You know the real story and know your spouse and his/her behavior and know what you and your children have been through.
- You are going to run into a patriarchal system, even though the laws say it’s 50/50 of assets, custody, etc.
- They have the same ideas as your ex does if he/she is a narcissist and/or abusive. They use the system to further abuse you and your children.
- You can’t go into the system believing they will protect you and your children.
- They keep evidence out of court to protect the person with the money and the connections or the attorney/judge with the connections and the favor.
- As soon as you run out of money, they will stop working for you. They only work for you because you are paying them $250-300 an hour.
- They continually go back in front of the judge on other cases, so they aren’t going to rock the boat or truly advocate with evidence of abuse/neglect and advocate for the one without favor.
- The judge has complete power and authority. There is no jury, except in Texas when requested. They are not held accountable to anyone in the court system. They have free reign and play God in the courtroom.
- If you appeal, you are appealing it to his/her buddies in the family court system who they know and they will not turn against one another. They pat one another’s backs and cover each other’s tracks, so no one gets caught. It’s called the “black robe syndrome”.
When it comes to attorneys in family court, these are ways that attorneys play the game in the system to win cases and favor, so they make the most money.
- They are not thinking about how to expedite this process.
- They are not thinking about how to protect children.
- They are not advocating to get evidence into court
- They are not seeking to simplify the process, but actually extend it to make more money adding additional steps that are unnecessary.
- They do not care about right or wrong, they care about winning the case so they will attract more clients and grow their business.
- They are political and may have future aspirations of becoming a judge.
- They try to drag the case out as long as possible and hopefully settle in the end with the best outcome for their client as to call it a win.
- If their client has money and power, they know they have more to lose as far as their reputation goes, thus, they will work even harder.
- Other lawyers are their friends and colleagues and judges preside over them, being on the judge’s good side is paramount to their livelihood.
What was just mentioned about attorneys also applies to Guardians Ad Litem (GALs). Although not all GALs are attorney’s, many are. However, regardless of whether or not they are attorneys, they all can be characterized as attorneys and all that applies above to attorneys, also applies to GALs. GALs are supposed to be “lawyers for the child” however, some of the most corrupt people within the system are the GALs. Their findings are usually weighted heavily with a judge so what they do or don’t do is of huge importance. GALs rarely take the time to do a deep dive and thoroughly investigate claims. GALs tend to be subjective in their findings. If they don’t like the protective parent or if they like the abusive parent then their findings will correlate to who they prefer. If one of the parents has more power and money then that tends to elicit findings in their favor.
Although the GAL is considered to be something like a “lawyer for the child”, don’t for one second believe that the GAL is looking out for your child’s best interest and don’t for one second depend on your GAL to help protect your child. However, you will need to work with the GAL as that is the system. Make sure you speak with the GAL as you would a Judge, professionally and with respect. Regardless of how the GAL acts, they are not your friend so do not divulge anything that is not pertinent to what they need to know. Just give them the facts. Don’t bad-mouth the other parent, just the facts. It is tempting to believe the GAL is on your child’s side and consequently, your side but they are not. No drama.
Do your best to hold the GAL accountable in their investigations. Provide them with documents (school, therapy, child services, etc.) and follow-up to determine if they received the information. Make sure they know who to interview (school, teachers, therapist, child services, police, witnesses, etc.) and provide all the proper contact information. Let the GAL know you are proactive, informed and professional by your actions so that you can earn their respect and belief in you. If you treat the GAL as described above while simultaneously never assuming they are on your child’s side (and your side) and never trusting them then you will have the best chance possible working with the GAL.
The family court system is broken. The judges, attorneys and GALs are all overworked. Most of them are jaded, tired and apathetic. When you are going through the system, your worst nightmare is happening, your most cherished person in this world is constantly being subjected to abuse and your whole life is in the balance. But for the judges, attorneys and GALs, it’s just another lackluster day at the office. Just another day where annoying and needy clients are trying to bring drama to their aloof and indifferent law practice or courtroom.