The Truth About Entering the Family Court System…
…if your ‘Ex’ is an Abuser
Most of us walk into the family court system believing it is something we can depend on and trust. Why wouldn’t we trust family court? We all know our judicial system was founded on the principles of truth and freedom. And yet, today’s U.S. family court system has become the opposite of what our founding fathers intended.
Family court system cases across the country are being corrupted every day by judges, custody investigators, court-appointed psychologists, caseworkers, and other professionals. Our family court system is not protecting children.
Family court continues to place children in unprotected environments where they are often abused or neglected. Abusers are using this broken system to their advantage. Abusers continue to get unsupervised parenting time with children, and some are even getting full custody.
We want you to understand cases can go either way. If you are married to an abuser, or in the divorce process, be mindful of the following facts when considering a family court case.
1. Before filing for divorce or custody or your children, find a professional mediator to safely resolve things if possible. Do whatever you can to prevent your family from entering the family court system.
2. If you discover you cannot mediate with your ‘ex’, be smart when entering the family court system. Do what is best to protect your children.
3. Do not use any form of the word “abuse” with a judge, caseworker, custody investigator, or court-appointed psychologist – unless you have professional, documented evidence. If you do use the word “abuse” without documented evidence, you will be targeted or flagged by the court. Your case can easily be turned against you. Your ‘ex’ can use your undocumented, claims of abuse to suggest you are making it all up, and trying to alienate others. And, the court system use these strategies to protect an abuser, and take children away from a protective parent.
4. Find professionals to prepare your documented evidence. Use evidence from respected professionals including: psychologists; physicians; emergency rooms; police departments; and Child Protective Services. Examples of documented evidence include: Personal Protection Orders or PPOs; police reports; forensic interviews; forensic exams; psychological evaluations; CPS reports; medical exams; and emergency room exams – with photos and documentation of abuse. Remember your word, or your own pictures and reports, are not considered documented evidence.
5. Once you have collected professionally documented evidence, present the evidence in court. Be sure to have your professionals testify in court, and verify the abuse using their documented evidence.
6. Keep fighting until your documented evidence is allowed into court. Collecting documented evidence, supported by professionals, can help protect your children from further abuse.
7. Distance yourself from any emotion when in court. The court system does not handle emotion well. We know it is painful when you have to go to court, and especially hard if you and/or your children are being abused. Remember to focus on the facts, present only the facts, and prepare your strongest case.